Of Paper Flowers

 

I walk through these empty hallways

I pass the closed doors that line the hospital like walls

I hear our elders ranting on about things

That are supposed to make us better people

Better adjusted drones when we're final released

From this penitentiary

This cold, dark hell-hole

I'm early and wait outside of the room

That eats away at my soul for two hours, three days a week

I stop and look out the window

A wall of windows

Too bad it's not the airport terminal it resembles

Outside, friends meet friends

Significant others meet their lovers

They kiss and hug, smile and giggle

Do they know we're all simply bidding our time?

Prolonging having to live in the real world

The big, bad, ugly freeway that is society

Where is my savior?

Where is my hope, my love for life?

How did I lose these things and where?

I should really go find them

And pick them up off the pavement

I must have left them on

I don't want to be part of this recess

This world of playing house and make-believing the world's a good place.

Throw me overboard, Captain

I'd rather swim with the sharks

Than flounder along with the rest

Wilhemina

What have I become?

In a body and mind that remains the same

Yet in which a soul no longer lingers

A creature of the night

Preying on the blood of the living

My lust and wrath in over-drive

With no conscience to speak of

No mere mortal any longer

A life eternal

Though what I crave most

A creature of the sunlight

His heat radiates through my cold lifeless body

Can he love me for what I really am?

Or will he simply die the victim

Doomed to walk hand-in-hand with death forever?

Will he kill the villain?

Will he save me from the monster I've become?

Will he be in time?

For I long to suck the life from him.

Valley Of Darkness

She fell for the most unlikely of men
Unaware that her heart was going down a path

Neither she nor he could follow

He fell away from her

And with him went her heart and soul

You have my heart

Keep it safe

For I walk now through the depths of shadow and despair

Neither dead nor living

A creature of the night

Forever doomed to walk the cold, dark streets of hell alone

Until the time comes

When he walks into my rusted world of sorrow

With the sun at his heels

And my heart in his hands

To reclaim my soul

From this wasteland of the broken and lonely

I will forever await your return

Your face, now only a distant memory

My only hope for salvation

Come back to me, my love

Ophelia

If you listen through the cemetery trees
Maybe you'll be able to hear her screams
Murdered in cold blood
He tore her heart from her chest
With a hiss and a glare
Buried upon the hell
Below the cliff where she cried for him for days
Walk on hollow ground
Listen to the whispers of the dead
They tell of a girl who loved a boy
She would have done anything
To be held in his arms once more
If only he knew just how much her kisses meant
Would he have come back?
Every time she'd lie beneath him
His grip around her heart grew tighter
Until it burst within his fingers

Does he know of his fatal mistake?
Of his murderous crime?
Would it matter if he did?
Would he have saved her?

She'll haunt you forever
Not a day will pass without her name
Burying itself in your ears
Her death will not be meaningless or forgotten

Her death shall not be in vain

Act One: A Tragedy

My Hamlet

My beautiful Prince of Denmark

Your eyes blaze for mine, no longer

Ophelia of the flowers

left to drown in the reeds

My heartbeat, nothing more than a ripple

in our sea of reckless mistakes

The deafening screams of a love lost 

fall upon eats that do not with to hear

Your charms and sweet nothings do not find my soul

that now wanders unconsciously

through the streets of the dead

I've lost the will to live

My body no longer glides with grace

I stumble in a haze of sorrow

blindly rummaging through the darkness of my heartbreak

Left alone without your light
Woe is all my eyes can see
Crazed and mad, you ride and do not see me
My lifeless body invisible before you
Bury me with the flowers you once thrust to the floor
Take from me my passion, along with my heart
for they are meaningless now
in this world of fog I now inhabit
I bask in the memories to quickly cast aside
Shadows take your form and haunt my once beautiful dreams
Nightmares cloud my sanity
as I stare at a crumpled tear-soaked photograph
My only proof of your existence
The only vision I have left of the happiness I once took for granted
My only hope for safety in this dimension of horror

The light goes out.
All is quiet.
All is cold.
All is black.
Forever more.

Knife Party

You call to me

And we drive away

Far from the anger and frustrations

Of our everyday reality

We walk along the riverbed

With our shoes in hand

Nothing exists but us

Under a blanket of suffocating romance

We wine and dine

On our cloud of perfection

Nothing can touch me

When your arms consume me

I know this won't last forever

That this will all be a distant memory

Only appearing when the Deftones

Grace my car speakers

Until the day comes

When I can't remember the way you smell

Or the way your hair always falls perfectly

Hold me tightly and don't let go

Please, don't let go.

 

7.30.10

I'm alone at home most of the time,
With not much else to do but think,
Of the mistakes I've made,
And the things I've lost,
Of what I should have done.
I think up master plans to fix it all,
And make all the bad disappear.
Plans that I never start,
Let alone follow through on.
Everything comes back to him,
And the love between us that died,
But wanted and deserved to live.
He took the sun and everything beautiful with him,
And here I sit in the deep dark hole,
At the end of the earth.
Here I'll stay with my regret and heartbreak,
Along with that little shimmer of hope,
That keeps my heart pumping.
Even if the light at the end never returns,
I'll wait and pray it all comes back to me.
That the fairy tale was real,
And strong enough to pick me up again.

3.9.10

Can you hear me?
I can't hear the sound of your voice anymore.
I can't tell if you're still there.
Why won't you answer me?
I've never regretted letting go of you,
as much as I do now.
I'll never let go again.
I'll hold on tightly,
Until I'm nothing more than dust and bone.
You're my whole world;
My entire universe.
My sun, my moon, my stars.
I can't hold them up by myself.
They're in pieces at my feet.
Everything is dark now;
Empty, cold, and worthless.
Bring me back the sun.
Put me back together again.